I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
