hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Just high enough for therapy.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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