the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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