I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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