Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
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