you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
This toilet bowl is my home.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
