i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Randomize
