Did you just see the Batmobile???
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
