Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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