i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
