don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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