And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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