I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
