I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
