Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Randomize
