Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I have peed in a lot of sinks
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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