he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
