doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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