we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Randomize
