so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
