A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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