that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
