i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
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