That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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