i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Randomize
