Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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