According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
