is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
