Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Randomize
