What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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