in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
