JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
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