Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Even my vagina gasped.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
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