i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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