Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
