I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
