Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Randomize
