my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize