Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
