Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
