ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
