just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
