This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
