he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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