We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
