I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
