Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
