HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize