i may or may not be watching the land before time
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Randomize
