Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
