This girl is more easily done than said...
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
