Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
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