i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize
