if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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