i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
