so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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