So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Dignity is for republicans.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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