fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
