whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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