You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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