weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
